Saturday, August 7, 2010


I have zero interesting thoughts. The only thing I can think about is how edible the color of my nail polish looks. Which, by the way, has chipped faster than any other manicure I've ever gotten and I think the asian lady did it on purpose. Because I have this theory that all asians who do my nails are conspiring against me. Mostly because I have no idea what they're saying in front of me and it makes me nervous, and smile nervously, and nervous smiles don't look good on me. Neither does chipped paint.

Chipped nail paint doesn't look good on anyone, especially when you're looking for a job and meeting future employers. I know because it happened to me today. I went in to fill out an application today at a country club, and this asian man (go figure) was the one to help me. I got really uncomfortable because I think that asians have a radar that is sensitive to shitty nails. Like mine. I hope he doesn't judge me for this. I'd rather him judge me for the fact that I checked "Yes" on the "Have you ever committed a felony or misdemeanor" question, not for my hell hands; because, you know, everyone has had a DUI, but raptor claws are unacceptable when you're applying for a job in the food service industry.

Anyways, enough about asians. My stomach is starting to hurt from the thought of MSG.
What's really important right now is the fact that my best friend introduced the term "meat curtains" to me last night. This girl has an unusual knack for talking about the most inappropriate things at the most inopportune times, but somehow she always makes it sound hilariously intriguing and almost intellectual. Almost. Anyways, don't ask me how we got onto the subject, but I thought it was amazing the fact that some men, and apparently women, refer to the vagina as "meat curtains". I once heard a friend of my ex's tell me that his girlfriends vag smelled like beef tacos, so I guess this term isn't completely off the wall. I'm not sure what a meat curtain looks like but I'm assuming that its fleshy and such. . . but the question remains at what level is the meat cooked, because Im sure girls have different colored vaginas? Something to ponder.

On a healthier note, I'm drinking wine right now. I saw on the Today show that drinking a glass of wine or a shot of booze or a beer a day is good for you. I'm still having one hang-up though, and that's the fact that she said "one". . . I'm going to go ahead and re-work this a little to be ONE bottle, because it seems more reasonable to me. And my health. . . mostly my sleeping patterns.

Let's see. There's really not much else to say, except I have a bad case of "Post-grad Syndrome" and even though I have a college degree I'm still a failure at life. The whole college education thing was only cool for like a month and a half. . .then people start to forget what you've accomplishe and think you're a loser again. To quote my good friend Amy's favorite quote, " I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful!" Whatever that means. . . you already think I'm wonderful though, right? Right?

This post has no relation to art things whatsoever. Fuck it. I do what I want.

No comments: